love

Expecting!

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The news is out, Duchess Kate is expecting a sibling for Prince George!  A second pregnancy allows the couple to know a little bit of what to will happen during this season of expectation.  What to wear, what to schedule and not schedule, where to travel, what to eat, are all somewhat familiar things to manage as she/they/we await the arrival of the 4th in line to the throne.

prince-william3--a Prince William in Oxford in first appearance since announcing Kate’s pregnancy. getty images photo

Isn’t life full of expectations?  Some expectations are unrealistic, and find us disappointed, like (not) winning the lottery.  Others are routine, yet are still sources of great joy and pride, as in high school or college graduation.  What are you expecting?  What are others expecting from you?  And, most importantly, what is God expecting from you?

Set some goals

A new school year has begun which causes most of us to punch the reset button even if we have been out of school for decades.  At this time of renewal, set some new goals, both long and short term.  List three “expectations” for each goal, and routinely check to see how you have met your own expectations.

Disappointing others unintentionally

You may be frustrating someone without even knowing it by not meeting their expectations.  Take a step back to examine how you interact with those close to you, and evaluate if you could be missing the mark in any area.  Communicating expectations between siblings, spouses, children and co-workers can eliminate a blow up down the road.  By simply asking how you are, or are not, meeting their expectations shows a great deal of care for your relationship.

What God expects from you

God’s expectations of man seem to be quite low.  He knew we would not be able to live up to His standard, and had a plan from the beginning to send His only Son as the perfect and only acceptable sacrifice for our sin in order for us to finally meet His high expectation of being clean, forgiven, and in relationship with Him.

He expects us to sin, and He expects us to ask for forgiveness.

So, repent.

He expects us to be in relationship with Him.

So, pray.

He expects us to love others.

So, intentionally and actively GO love others.

He expects us to continue to mess up.

So, repeat this process over, and over, and over again.

God’s Expectations Condensed

Love God with all your heart, and love others as yourself.

If you do these two things, everything, including expectations, will fall into place.

“Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”  Matthew 22:37-40

Expecting some changes,

Mary Ellen

 

The fun may be over….

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Indulgence was the word yesterday, today it is repentance!  With Ash Wednesday brings the beginning of the 40 days of Lent.  Does this mean we roam around in somber, depressed solitude?  No.  In fact, we are instructed by Jesus to do quite the opposite, “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.”  (Matthew 6:16, NIV)  We are instructed to pray in solitude (Matthew 6:5), do good things for others with notice (Matthew 6:1), fast without advertisement (Matthew 6:16), store up treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:20), don’t worry (Matthew 6:25), don’t judge others (Matthew 7:1), pray some more (Matthew 7:7), and the list continues.  In short, we are to live for this season, not get through it.

Live for Lent, instead of trying to get through it

The above list of instructions does, indeed, seem endless.  There is a common denominator to make all of them achievable: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)

Love God

Spend time daily with God in prayer.

List His attributes (love, powerful, almighty, creator), thank Him for blessings, ask forgiveness for your sins, and ask for His help.

Select something to give up (chocolate, carbonated drinks, bread, gossip), and abstain from it until Easter.  Do this without letting on that you are “working” on this little exercise.  In other words, self control, the tenth fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22)  You will master self control for abstaining, and from running your mouth and complaining about it.

Love others

Pray for other people before you pray for yourself.

As you pray for those close to you, identify one to bless in some way, anonymously, or not.  In certain situations the blessing may be only meaningful if your identity is known.

“Pay it forward” for someone at Starbucks!

Gather canned goods and toilettries on your next trip to the grocery store to take them to your local food pantry.

Serve at a food pantry.

Take time to be one on one with your child in a new way.

Listen to your spouse carefully to learn something you can do to show your love and attention to him or her.

Prepare for the Party!

Smile!  Although Lent is a season of repentance, it is also a time of preparation for a celebration.  When you prepare for a party, I hope you do the work necessary for the event in joy and excitement.  Lent can be viewed much the same way.  We are preparing ourselves, our hearts, for the celebration of Easter, the Resurrection.  Reflecting on the days preceding the Crucifixion are truly painful, and must be considered this way.  In this pain we also now know the forgiveness available to us because of the pain He endured.  For this grace we may rejoice!  Here are some ways to prepare yourself:

Read scripture daily.  “Daily Office” (scripture prescribed for most Protestant churches): http://www.esvbible.org/devotions/bcp/

Add an edifying habit to your routine. Read a good book, start a new exercise method, read a scripture passage to you family at breakfast each morning, park in the farthest parking spot and walk!  It doesn’t have to Pulitzer Prize-worthy, just something good.

Ask God to change your will to be His will.  This is the hardest one to do because you really have to mean it, and mean to be changed.  Once you start asking God what He thinks, what is His will, how He wants you do do things, instead of giving Him a list to complete for you, you will notice a change not only in yourself, but how you see, and feel about everything around you.

The fun may be over in the life you lead before today.  The new ways to experience the life you lead in the future will have a label much better than “fun”.

Live for Lent, instead of trying to get through it.

Love is in the air!

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Love.  Valentine’s Day.  What a joyful, easy holiday to “do”!  We have license to buy lots of candy guilt free, we buy cards to verbalize different forms of affection, and we even buy gifts to display evidence of our love for another.  However, the Beatles song, “Can’t Buy Me Love”, is screaming through my mind right now!  Using your purchasing power on these things is by no means wrong, but is that where we stop displaying our love until the next “holiday” buying opportunity?  What do our daily actions, and even random purchases say about how we actively love another?  And, the big elephant in the room: who are we not loving and should be loving, but we “can’t”?  Here are some ways to make your Valentine’s Day happen every day, or at least more often.

1. Love is action and words.  What we say can either build someone up, or tear them down.  Read positive and edifying materials.  That which is on the forefront of your mind is usually what comes out of your mouth.  Biblical scripture is a good place to start.  There are other positive blogs to follow like http://www.dianegottsman.com and http://www.mustbringbuns.blogspot.com.  Read more!  Some edifying book recommendations are also on my home page.

2. Love is a decision.  Feelings come and go.   Communicate real reasons you have decided to love those in your life.

3. Whom do you love?  Whom should you love?  (ugh!)  The first question creates a list instantly.  The second causes my hand to write much more slowly!  We are commanded to “love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength”, “love our neighbor as ourselves” (Mark 12:30), “love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44), “love one another” (John 13:34), and “do everything in love” (I Corinthians 16:14).  Who is on your ‘hard to love’ list?  How can you decide to show love to this person?  It may start with forgiveness, and it may be a silent decision within you, which is how your action will grow outward.

4. Buy, write, say, or do?!  No matter how you choose to show your love, do with sincerity (Romans 12:9), do it with the receiver’s perspective in mind, and do it with joy, “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.” (Philemon 7).

Here are some ideas to commemorate the “big day”:

Tickets to a show, concert, sporting event, movie, tour, or exhibit.  Consider your mutual interests and create a memory.

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Plan a trip, in town or out, doing things you both enjoy.  Plan what you know you can do so time spent is not stressful in finishing the list, or disappointing because you did not get to a certain “favorite” thing.  Keep it simple and enjoyable.

picnic_CNT_9Aug10_b

cntraveler.com

Flowers!  Make sure the recipient does not have allergies to your bouquet.  Arrange the flowers yourself, or order from a trusted florist.  Even if he or she “likes” to arrange flowers, refrain from dropping off a bunch of floral selections which will need immediate attention.  Your valentine may not have time for this activity, thus causing annoyance rather than joy.

If floral allergies are suspected, send a fruit arrangement.

Write on paper.  Texts and emails are the norm these days, and the written word on paper seems to be fading to extinction.  A carefully crafted expression on paper can mean more than 100 roses, a five star dinner, or a trip to Paris.  Take time to write your thoughts, feelings, memories on paper to your Valentine.  This piece of paper may be what you find decades later in a treasured place to let you know, in return, how much your expression meant to your beloved.

productimage-picture-happy-valentine-s-day-fuchsia-card-1213_jpg_155x140_q85

http://www.sugarpaper.com

In short, just do what Loves does.  “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  I Corinthians 13:4-8

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyday!

Mary Ellen